What the Bible Says About Dating
The short answer
Here is the honest answer up front: the Bible never mentions dating. Courtship as we practice it—meeting someone, spending time together, deciding whether to commit—simply didn't exist in the ancient world, where marriages were usually arranged by families. So anyone asking what the Bible says about dating has to start with what it actually addresses: marriage, singleness, and the question of what God is calling a particular person to do with their life.
Matthew 19 is one of the most useful passages for this. After a hard teaching on divorce, Jesus' disciples conclude that maybe it's better not to marry at all. Jesus doesn't laugh this off. He says some people have "made themselves eunuchs" for the sake of God's kingdom—not literally, but in the sense of choosing to remain single for a larger purpose. Then he adds a striking qualifier: "He who is able to receive it, let him receive it." In other words, this calling is real, but it isn't for everyone.
That one saying quietly reframes the whole question. Jesus treats both marriage and singleness as callings—paths a person may be given, not defaults everyone drifts into. Neither is presented as the superior spiritual state; each is a way of ordering a life around something bigger than romance.
For dating, the implication is significant. Since Scripture gives no rulebook for courtship, the deeper biblical question isn't "what are the rules for dating?" but "what am I called to?" Dating, seen this way, is a season of discernment: testing whether a relationship is moving toward the covenant the Bible does describe—marriage—or whether a person's energies belong elsewhere. The Bible's silence on dating isn't a gap to fill with anxiety; it's an invitation to ask better questions.
What scholars say
Commenting on Jesus' cryptic saying about eunuchs, N. T. Wright explains why Jesus—likely single himself because of his unique vocation—treats renouncing marriage as a genuine, costly calling, while insisting that God doesn't ask the same renunciations of everyone.
“These sayings may indeed have been cryptic because Jesus was aware that people might ask questions about his own marital status. The implication is that he has chosen to stay single because he is conscious of his extraordinary vocation and the demands it must make. When he says that some ‘have made themselves eunuchs’ in this sense, it’s like the sayings in 18.8–9 about cutting off or plucking out hands, feet and eyes: he doesn’t mean it literally. Of course, for some, the decision to postpone or renounce marriage seems every bit as hard as physical mutilation. And Jesus knows that God will not ask the same kinds of renunciation of all his servants. People who hear the call and find that they are able to follow it should do so. That’s as far as one can go.”
What it means for you
If you're dating, or wondering whether to, the pressure to find "the biblical rules" can be exhausting—especially when different communities invent different ones. Matthew 19 offers relief: God doesn't ask the same thing of everyone. Some people are genuinely called to marriage; some are genuinely called to singleness; neither path is a consolation prize. That means dating can be approached as honest discernment rather than a test you might fail. Ask what you're actually moving toward—covenant, partnership, a shared life—and whether this relationship serves that. And if you're single, by choice or circumstance, the passage insists your life is not on hold. It may be exactly the shape your calling takes.
In context
Matthew 19 opens with Pharisees testing Jesus on divorce. He answers by going back to Genesis: marriage joins two people into one, and it isn't meant to be casually dissolved. His standard is so high that the disciples protest—if that's marriage, maybe it's better not to marry. Jesus responds with the saying about eunuchs, acknowledging that some renounce marriage for the kingdom of heaven, while noting that not everyone can receive this teaching. The chapter then moves to Jesus blessing children and his encounter with the rich young man—more scenes about what following him actually costs.