Matthew 18:15
What does Matthew 18:15 mean?
“If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.
The short answer
Matthew 18:15 records Jesus' instruction for what to do when someone in the community wrongs you: "go, show him his fault between you and him alone." Notice who moves first. It is not the offender who is told to come apologize; it is the person who was hurt who is told to go. Jesus seems to assume that the injured party will take the initiative to repair the relationship—and, as the following verses show, will keep trying if the first attempt fails.
The goal is spelled out in the verse itself: if the other person listens, you have "gained back your brother." The point is not to win the argument, expose the wrongdoer, or build a case. It is to recover a relationship. That is why the conversation begins privately, between the two people alone. A quiet word gives the other person room to hear the truth without shame or an audience.
The verse also sits in a striking location. Just after this passage, Peter asks how many times he must forgive, and Jesus answers with the famous "seventy-seven times"—forgiveness without limit. Then comes the parable of the unforgiving servant, which warns against receiving mercy while refusing to extend it. So Matthew 18:15 is bracketed by mercy on both sides, yet it insists on honest accountability: sin is named, not ignored. Limitless forgiveness and real truth-telling are meant to hold each other in balance.
One caution belongs here too. This kind of private confrontation presumes a relationship of basic safety and mutuality. Pressed on someone with less power—someone facing abuse or violence, for instance—an unqualified demand to forgive and reconcile can do real harm. The verse describes how equals in a community repair a tear in their shared life; it is not a tool for keeping the vulnerable quiet.
What scholars say
Allan Hugh Cole Jr. takes up the question this passage answers—what should happen when one member of the community sins against another—and notes that Jesus assumes the offended person will pursue reconciliation, even repeatedly. John T. Carroll then shows how the surrounding discourse holds limitless forgiveness together with accountability, and cautions that an unqualified call to forgive can be dangerous for those with less power, such as someone suffering domestic violence.
“Recall also these well-known words that Jesus spoke to his disciples: “‘Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them’” (Matt. 18:20). He made this statement when speaking of life in the community of faith—the church. In question was how members should relate to one another when grievances occur. What should happen after one “sins” against another, such that the fabric of the shared life becomes stressed if not torn? Jesus answers this question first by conveying his assumption that those offended will seek reconciliation, even if this requires multiple attempts. He then details how to seek this (Matt. 18:15–20).”
“Jesus replies with hyperbole: not a generous seven times but seventy-seven times (or seventy times seven, v. 22 mg.)! That is to say, keep forgiving, without limit (there is no mention of the forgiven one’s repentance, as in the parallel saying, Luke 17:3–4). Standing alone, the exaggerated counsel to forgive without limitation is potentially problematic—especially when the one who “needs” to forgive possesses less power in the situation (such as a woman or child suffering from domestic violence). 58 The limitations the Matthean discourse imposes here concern not the number of times mercy is needful but, instead, the tensive relation between the demand for mercy and the insistence on accountability in the passages preceding (Matt 18:15–20) and following (vv. 23–35) Jesus’ exchange with Peter.”
What it means for you
If someone has hurt you, this verse gently removes the option of nursing the grievance from a distance. It asks you to go—to have the awkward, direct conversation, privately, with restoration rather than vindication as the aim. Before you speak, it is worth asking yourself which outcome you actually want: to be proved right, or to get the person back.
At the same time, be honest about the situation. This instruction assumes two people who can meet safely as equals. If confronting someone would put you at risk, seeking help and protection is not a failure to follow this verse.
Matthew 18 in context
Matthew 18 is Jesus' extended teaching on life inside the community of his followers. It opens with the disciples asking who is greatest, and Jesus answering with a child; it continues with warnings against causing "little ones" to stumble and the parable of the shepherd seeking one lost sheep. Verse 15 begins the chapter's practical section on handling sin between members, which ends with the promise of Christ's presence where two or three gather. Peter's question about forgiving "seventy-seven times" and the parable of the unforgiving servant close the chapter.